Archive - September 2011

Insert Witty Title Here

            The follies of youth chronicled by imagining that Rebecca Black’s “Friday” and Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night” are actually diary entries written by the same teenage girl, let’s call her “Beth” for no apparent reason and who signs her diary entries because I assume that’s what teenage girls do.  Anyway, Beth’s parents have gone away for the weekend, and she has decided to throw a “rager” (that’s a thing, right?).


Friday, July 29th  7am

Dear Diary,

Waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs!!
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal!
Seein’ everything, the time is goin’
Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’
Gotta get down to the bus stop

Gotta catch my bus!!!

More later!!

Love, Beth


Friday, July 29th  2pm

Dear Diary,

It’s Friday, Friday!
Gotta get down on Friday!!!!
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend!
Partyin’, partyin’!!!
Fun, fun, fun, fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Friday, July 29th  7:45pm

Dear Diary,

We’re drivin’ on the highway
Cruisin’ so fast, I want time to fly!!
Fun, fun, think about fun!!!
You know what it is!
I got this, you got this
My friend is by my right

Yesterday was Thursday,
but today is Friday!!!!!!!!! 
We so excited!!!!!!!!!!
We gonna have a ball today!!!

Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after...wards
I don’t want this weekend to end

Yay for Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Beth    :)


Saturday, July 30th  1pm

Dear Diary,

What the fuck?!

There's a stranger in my bed,
There's a pounding my head
Glitter all over the room
Pink flamingos in the pool
I smell like a minibar
DJ's passed out in the yard
Barbie's on the barbeque

There's a hickie or a bruise
Pictures of last night
Ended up online

I'm screwed,



Saturday, July 30th  4pm

Dear Diary,

Just talked to Sarah, apparently
we danced on tabletops
And we took too many shots.
I think we kissed but I forgot.
We maxed our credit cards
And got kicked out of the bar.

We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a menage a trois
Yeah I think we broke the law

Gotta go get a Plan B,



Saturday, July 30th  6pm

Dear Diary,

Trying to connect the dots
Don't know what to tell my dad
Think the city towed my car
Chandelier is on the floor
With my favorite party dress
Warrants out for my arrest
Think I need a ginger ale

That was such an epic fail!


PS It burns when I pee….     :(


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