Archive - October 2009

Two notes.  One, yes, I know that Twitter puts newer posts first.  I reversed the order because I thought it read better.  Two, yes, I know that I am going to burn in Hell.  That was established in third grade.  Right now I only have to decide if I should reign it in and hope when I die I catch God on a good day and get in, or if I should just say "Screw it" and run for Satan.

 

    Jesus_Christ  

                                   

 

I don’t care what John says, pushing me underwater is drowning, not baptizing.

            11.26 AM Monday 26 AD from web

 

Partying in Galilee.  Ran out of booze.  I’ll fix this.

            9:08 PM Saturday 26 AD from txt

 

Note to self – chicks dig a guy who can turn water into wine.  Just sayin’.

                9:22 PM Saturday 26 AD from txt

 

Damn!  Lepers are everywhere, yo!

                8:52 AM Thursday 27 AD from web

 

Hangin’ out in Capernuam with my 12 best bros.

                11.42 AM Wednesday 27 AD from web

 

Going up the mountain to talk at some people.  Preachers be preachin’!

                3:41 PM Tuesday 27 AD from txt

 

The Romans just killed John the B.  That’s f’d up.

                10:07 AM Friday 28 AD from web

 

People gathered: >5000.  Loaves of bread: 5.  Fishes: 2.  Blowing minds Criss Angel style: Priceless.

                2.27 PM Monday 29 AD from txt

 

Hey!  Cool!  I can walk water!  Time to go mess with Judas!

                12:52 PM Sunday 29 AD from web

 

Raised Lazarus from the dead.  Played it cool, though – Mary M was watching.

                5:21 PM Monday 29 AD from txt

 

Palm fronds!  Way to hook a brother up, Jerusalem!  Gotta get my strut on!

                7:18 PM Sunday 30 AD from txt

 

Just spent three days in the Temple.  I think they’re kinda pissed!

                1:14 PM Wednesday 30 AD from web

 

Had supper with my boys!  Wasn’t very good.  Last time I eat there!

                6:38 PM Thursday 30 AD from txt

 

Heading to an olive garden to pray.  Hey, olive garden.  That’d be a good name for a restaurant.  Somebody write that down!

                7:21 PM Thursday 30 AD from txt

 

LOL!  Judas is NOT a good kisser!! (no homo)

                8:47 PM Thursday 30 AD from txt

 

Judas is a DICK!!!!  WTF?!?!?!

                8:48 PM Thursday 30 AD from txt

 

Trial is not going as well as I had hoped.

                10:29 AM Friday 30 AD from txt

 

Barrabas?!  Really?!  You know what, f-you, Jerusalem!!

                2:31 PM Friday 30 AD from txt

 

We all have our crosses to bear.  Mine is an actual cross.  L

                4:04 PM Friday 30 AD from txt

 

This is the suck!  Nice view from up here, though.

                6:38 PM Friday 30 AD from txt

 

I’m back, bitches!!!

                7:25 AM Sunday 30 AD from web

 

Name: Jesus, duh!

Bio: Lord and/or Savior.

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