Archive - August 2010

Lady Gaga’s Boyfriend Calls Her With 

A Quick Question And She Answers Using 

Only The Lyrics To “Telephone”


Lady Gaga: Hello, hello, baby.

BF:  Hey, quick question.  I’m at Home Depot and –

Gaga: You called, I can't hear a thing.  I have got no service in the club, you see, see…

BF: Well, that’s not true.  If you had NO service, I couldn’t have reached you.  But anyway, I can’t remember what color you wanted for the dining room –

Gaga: Wha-Wha-What did you say? Oh, you're breaking up on me…

BF: PAINT!  The paint for the dining room.  Did you want Toasted Eggplant, or –

Gaga: Sorry, I cannot hear you, I'm kinda busy.

BF:  OR TEQUILA SUNRISE?!  Which one?!!

Gaga: Just a second, it's my favorite song they're gonna play.

BF: Just tell me what –

Gaga: And I cannot text you with a drink in my hand, eh…

BF: Look, just tell me what color –

Gaga: You shoulda made some plans with me, you knew that I was free.

BF: What?  What are you talking about?  I’m just trying to paint the dining room.

Gaga: And now you won't stop calling me; I'm kinda busy.

BF: Won’t stop calling….what the fuck are you talking about?

Gaga: Stop callin', stop callin', I don't wanna think anymore!

BF: It’s just paint.  It’s not really something you need to think about.

Gaga: I left my hand and my heart on the dance floor.

BF: That doesn’t make any sense.  How did you leave your hand on the dance floor?

Gaga: Can call all you want, but there's no one home, and you're not gonna reach my telephone!

BF: I actually DID reach your phone.  Look just tell me –

Gaga: Out in the club, and I'm sippin' that bub, and you're not gonna reach my telephone!

BF: Great.  Enjoy your champagne.  Just tell me what color to buy and I’ll let you go.

Gaga: Boy, the way you blowin' up my phone won't make me leave no faster.  Put my coat on faster, leave my girls no faster.

BF: Blowin’ up your phone?  I’ve called you once.  And I’m not asking you to leave.  I’m asking what paint to get for the dining room.

Gaga: I shoulda left my phone at home, 'cause this is a disaster!  Callin' like a collector - sorry, I cannot answer!

BF: You cannot answer?  It’s fucking paint!

Gaga: Not that I don't like you, I'm just at a party. And I am sick and tired of my phone r-ringing.

BF: What?  It’s not that you don’t like me?  What the fuck are talking about?

Gaga: Sometimes I feel like I live in Grand Central Station. Tonight I'm not takin' no calls, 'cause I'll be dancin'.

BF: Hot merciful damn.  Have you lost your mind?

Gaga: Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…Stop telephonin' me!

BF: Oh for fuck’s sake! You’re a goddamned idiot, did you know that?

Gaga: Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…I'm busy!

BF: Seriously, you might actually be mentally handicapped.

Gaga: Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…Stop telephonin' me!

BF: Oh my fuck!

Gaga: Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…

BF: I fucking hate you.

Gaga: We're sorry… the number you have reached is not in service at this time.

BF: I know it’s still you, moron.

Gaga: Please check the number, or try your call again.

BF: Ugh…..<click>

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