Are You Stupid?

          1. Complete this equation:  E =

         MC Hammer

2. Lesbian is to Bisexual as:

Decisive is to Indecisive.
Soup Kitchen is to Chinese Buffet.

3. Which of the following is correct?

Your an asshat.
You're an asshat.
Urine asshat.
Everyone's an asshat.

4. 3,748,321 x 0 = ?

None of the above.

5. Who is your favorite Golden Girl?

Bea Arthur
Estelle Getty
Rue McClanahan
Betty White

6. Your Stepmother's 18-year-old, adopted, half-Korean daughter is legally:

Your Stepsister.
Your Half-Sister.
Your Sister.
Okay to sleep with.

7. A train leaves Station A for Station B 350 miles away.  Traveling at 50 miles an hour, how long until the train arrives at Station B?

7 Hours
10 Hours
Nobody rides the train anymore.
Look at the schedule, dumbass.

8. What is a disjunctive syllogism?

A never-ending erection.
What you get from drinking the water in Mexico.
The Royal Staff of 12th Century Japanese Emperors.
A simple form of logical argument.

9. Laughing at the misery of others is:

Degrading to the whole human race.
Perfectly acceptable.
Probably poetic justice.


Your score is


<41 You're a moron.  You idolize Timmy down the street because he's got your dream job saying hello to folks going into Wal-Mart.  You love him even though he always beats you at the game of H-O-R-S-E.  This is because you spell HORSE, P-Q-S-C-@-7-H-15-Z-M-&-G.  If you see me on the street, leave me the hell alone.
41-80 You're Timmy.  Don't gloat.  The only people who would cheat off you on an exam are the moron above, Forrest Gump, and Bono.  Enjoy being the Greeter, it is the pinnacle of your career.  You are also free to not interact with me.  Thanks.
81-120 Now we're getting somewhere.  You can probably read.  (I don't know how the idiots above completed this quiz.)  There's an off chance that you'll someday be able to move out of your Mom's house.  But it won't last long.  Shoe-tying remains a conundrum (look it up).  You may ask me for a "light" if you see me out and about.  I will say no.  Let it end there. 
>120 Yay!  You're at the top of the heap.  Or halfway done with third grade.  I should congratulate you, but I won't.  You've got a bright future in Civil Servitude.  Or as any Customer Service Rep I'll ever encounter.  Most likely, you'll be downsized and replaced by an electric pencil sharpener.  You may also ask me for a "light."  I will say no, but with slightly less disdain than above.  And I won't spit on you.  Much. 


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